under construction

Here's the thing ~ I hate where I am right now. I am under challenged under utilized under appreciated under stimulated under whelmed under joyed under inspired under hopeful under understood under paid under respected and under motivated. And it’s all my fault, and that’s the kicker. I know there is more to life than this. There is way more than just watching tv and going to the stupid bar. So I sent off for volunteer information for Habitat for Humanity (for the 3rd time), it’s something that I’ve wanted to do for years and years but never followed through with. And someone suggested Big Sisters to me, which makes me ponder. And spring has sprung, and that sure helps. I had the strangest dream last night, I was both father and daughter and morphed between the two. My mother in the dream was drugged and depressed. She ran a bath, lay down on the floor beside the tub, and spaced out. The bathtub overflowed, soaked through the floor, and fell through, slicing her arm off in the process. She then fell through the floor and bled to death, because me as a child was not paying attention to her like I should have been. Yeesh.