ladies and gentlemen, john mayer

I realized something seeing him live. Whenever I've seen him perform on an awards show or some taped thing on the internet I've always been a little put off by his antics ~ he's a face-makin' spit-flayling bee-bopping machine, and it's always made me slightly uncomfortable. I wasn't sure how it was going to feel being 15 rows away from him. Let me tell you though the reason for all of that. It is pure musical sex. There is no other way to describe him live. And I don't mean sex, like ooh he made me so wet, I mean sex like pure fucking abandonment to the vibe, to the beat, to the pulse, to the melody, to the horns, to the pure force behind it all. It sounds so damn cheesy but it's true. That was probably one of the best shows I have ever seen. Every freaking note was like chocolate. It was so damn good. And he becomes the guitar, that's why he giddies around so much, his face and hips and feet all follow the melody. I can't seem to describe it without sounding like an idiot. IT WAS INCREDIBLE. The whole band was so fucking talented and the blues were so dirty and the drums, I just gotta talk for a second about the drums, I couldn't stop moving the whole time. I didn't care that I was there alone. I didn't care that people were staring at the girl at the end of the aisle dancing like a fool. The only reason it could have been better if someone was with me was to seriously validate that it was happening. It seems like a fucking dream. It was that good. And I don't even think it was one of his best nights, he seemed a little distant from the crowd, but what do you expect when you're used to playing for bigger audiences? It's funny when big acts come to Canada. Anyways anyways the bonus episode of the night was finding out 20 minutes before the show that Kathleen Edwards was opening. And, finding out 20 minutes into her set that it was none other than Jim Bryson playing guitar and keyboards with her. One of his songs on a jukebox saved me one broken down night in Canmore years ago. And lo and behold, there he was.

I was going to call this post "JFC it's JFM", which of course would stand for "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IT'S JOHN FUCKING MAYER", which of course I kept muttering to myself while watching him play, but I decided to leave the lord out of it. At least for the part that gets picked up by the Sask Bloggers link. There be a lotta christians in that list, and I don't want to be known as the girl with the potty mouth, even if it is true.

The rest of the trip was awesome, and adult, and perfect too. I was in Edmonton for exactly 24 hours. Stayed with my pal Kara, and it's so funny and good to see that we're both no longer hippies since we haven't really seen each other in 5 years. I ate a falafel (a "big city" staple for me), walked down Whyte Ave, and was home by 12:30, had a couple of beer with her and her boyfriend and hit the (lovely) sack. Up at 9, coffee and croissants at the local Italian grocers where they had AN ENTIRE AISLE of olive oil and balsamic vinegar varieties, a quick trip to Ikea and I was on the road home. 1100km later I am happy as a peach. Hope ya'll had a good weekend too (and no, Jessica Simpson was nowhere to be seen. Stop asking for pictures already).