owe no

I can't stop thinking about what a friend of mine says about this whole fiasco. "Life does not owe you a relationship" he said. "It's grim, but you're not owed anything by life". To which I immediately defend that it probably should, it most definitely should. I haven't been properly loved in years. And I told myself that it was high time I met someone that I was excited about. And I sure did, but lo, it was one-sided and I feel like a bratty 8yr old throwing myself on the floor at Wal-Mart screaming "it's not fair! it's just not fair". I think I believe in karma, I think that I am mostly a good person. I think I am kind to people that are awkward and considerate to those who are ignored by the popular kids. I think that I give a lot to people that I love. I think I believe in energy. I think it's what attracts people together. So I really don't understand being consumed by the simple curve of a neck with no reciprocation. It's not that I'm trying to be daft or difficult, I'm just having a really hard time understanding this. So I'll put on a brave face and put myself back in the cesspool of fish and I guess I'll just keep believing that someday I'll be able to truly say that I have a partner, someone who loves me just the way I am. Someday. And I'll get over this soon. I always will.