"fuse"

Feist and Kathleen Edwards together live on CBC Radio One?
Excuse me while my mind blows.

I should drink more

Today I took back 1 full year's worth of recycling, and got... wait for it... $24.75 back. Apparently I'm not half the alcoholic I thought I was. Either that, or I go out too often and should start drinking at home more, strictly for the refunds. I had planned to take most of the money from today and start paying off my ultra-luxurious new truck, but after taking the girls (Jenn and her 9 yr old daughter Simone) for lunch to thank them for their help, I had about $5 and change left. So, drinks at my place from now on in! If you bring your cases of beer over I'll always be happy to see you.

tuesday's rainy joke installment

Q: Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
A: Fo drizzle.

sorry everybody

This website is pretty cool, and this guy is pretty hot.
I bet he'd go camping with me in my new truck.

whoa black betty

Hot damn that's a sexy little truck. It's got all kinds of fancy things like a) a CD player, b) a CD player that keeps playing with the keys out until you open the door, c) a CD player that adjusts the volume based on how fast you are driving, d) remote start, and e) superior non-stalling capabilities! Although judging from this last pic, I still need to learn how to park it..

the little blue wagon that could

The time has come, this old wagon has driven to Dawson City Yukon, Muscatine Iowa, Winnipeg, Calgary, Edmonton, Ontario, Ness Creek, Regina a thousand times, and back and forth to work way too many times to count. 343,627 is what I'm marking it off at. Please pass me a tissue as I remember all the good times we've had - Petunia hanging out the window yelling at the buffalo in Manitoba and learning Bob Dylan songs on the busted down tape player (I think I had all 4 speakers back then) - Nancy, Joel, Dustin and I spending Halloween in the Yukon and fighting like mad the whole time - Jenn and Will and Kim heading to the lake without me - hours spent hunting down Steve driving all over the city - Kim and I cruising the country looking for (and finding) the crooked forest - Jenn and I driving down dirt roads with beer in hand and sleeping in the back in a field next to a lake after a loud and rockin' Victoria Day party in Alvena - and way too many more to mention. How do you say goodbye to all of that? So please, I beg of you, pay your respects, and stayed eagerly tuned for the next installment.

R.I.P My dear Jackie Jackson... Oct 20,1999 ~ July 22, 2005
I loved you hard.

don't worry about splinters

Girl: Yeah, I'm so hot, I have to beat guys off with sticks.
Guy: You beat guys off with sticks?

jeff phillips cracks me up

I love being ambushed by lunch room humour.

me so thorny

It's ok to sit and watch the things that couples do
but I know these last two days
that waking up
has been akin to missing
there's a silence there that's tangible
(and I know it's not just the neighbour's dog).

Burnt out from fronting
from over-ani-kineti-sizing
my ugly self in impratical shoes

Oh sure, I make fun of the hippies but
wouldn't you just love to be a weiner too?

retarded

Oh. My. God.
Shake what your momma gave you, and then shake it some more for good measure. Fergie is the sexiest woman in show business hands down, and the boys are fucking smokin' too. Them're some hot-ass freakin' peas. Uh. Le. Wow.

L + G + M + R + L

So I go to regina for the night. I'm trying to find this damn truck of my dreams (a black chevy S10 automatic extended cab circa 1998 for those who care). Bought myself a Truck Trader a few days back and realized that there's tons of trucks in regina. Figured it wouldn't hurt to go have a look, take one more sunny road trip in the little blue wagon that could. Get to town around 1pm, hit lots of car lots. Meet lots of fun old car lot men. Drive lots of fancy trucks I can't afford. Stop for steak sandwiches and beer. Drive around to some more lots, check a private sale (cb radio included!). Even make it to the Mackenzie Art Gallery (nice touch). Scam free parking for the whole night at the Casino parking lot. Go for a walk and a smoke, find a pub across from Victoria Park with picnic tables and icy cold pints and you can smoke on the patio hallelujah. Stay for three, go to leave. Run into Murray, still rolling drum, living in the Queen City these days. Go to leave again. I hear "what's Nicki doing?", turn to find big grinny Lowell standing there. Order more beer. Smoke more cigarettes. Drink more beer. Realize that I'm fantastically happy to be right where I am, and have to stop myself from telling everyone that I love them. Damn that waiter and his voodoo moves.

marilyn and sun

She likes it on the floor, that dirty bitch.

I said "Wham" and he said "Who?"

sometimes a truck is just a truck is just a truck
and sometimes a truck is a specialized unit
because you know exactly what you want
and how the fit feels.

I find it strange how you yourself will change
depending on who's beside you
stances feel different
space burns between shoulders and arms.

And it's so very hot outside
perfect for the last road trip for my old wagon
I will empty its contents
and wait.

virtual litebrite

Man, I'm such a geek sometimes, but this is way too fun. (*warning though, it's really hard to save. ask for instructions if you need them*)

me and greeny

watch out for that construction zone.

true colours

but two wrongs don't make a right

Man, I love waking up to "terrorism".

Oh America

"The U.S. Army, having increased the maximum enlistment age from thirty-four to thirty-nine and the maximum age for officer candidate school from twenty-nine to forty-two, having offered $20,000 more for college per soldier, and having lowered its recruitment goal for this June by more than one thousand as compared to the previous year, announced that it had exceeded its June recruitment goal by 507 soldiers." ~ Harper's Weekly

fuck, part 4.

I just broke my mower. One half of one of the twin blades snapped right off when I hit a curb trying to mow the boulevard. I think I've had about enough of every fucking thing I own breaking down. Car, coffee maker, fence, and now my vintage lawn mower.

But on a positive note, my 87 yr old neighbour just helped me fix my fence. She gave me two big metal rods and held up the fence while I hammered them into the ground. Then I gave her a little tour of the house cuz she's been its neighbour since 1960, and her dead husband built that fence and poured the concrete too. She's amazed at all the changes inside, which is a good thing since she says it was pretty much condemned at one point and the owners had to completely redo it.

So... what are you doing to me, life? What's your fucking point?

1985

I kissed a 20 yr old last night. Blame it on the red wine, the candle-light, the Mississippi swamp slide guitar blues, the jaunty cap or the new red shoes. Anyway you roll the dice, it's a pretty good story.

boys get the best t-shirts

Happy Canada Day, eh?

Last night was quite possibly one of the best nights of my life. I could be exaggerating, but I don't really think so. We started off downtown at the Jazzfest free stage to catch some of the Hot Rod Hullabaloo boys, and then stopped by the Black Duck for a cocktail. Tried to go to Ryly's for a heavy metal show, but damn they wanted a lot of money to stay there. Then we tried to go to Alley Katz (news update: it's been foreclosed upon. What the fuck are we gonna do?) but it was dark so Jenn says "hey, ever been to Partner's Bar and Grill?". In we go and holy canoli what a great bar. Chatted with the owner and put our names in for free trips to Vegas and played pool with the locals in the corner. Had a great time getting our asses kicked, and then got invited by the gang back to old man Ray's place in McNab Park for a little party. Turns out they're all family, aunts and sisters and step-dads and brothers and holy shit it was so much fun. Ray got out the guitar and we sang old country tunes till the sun came up. What a totally welcoming and fantastic family. Complete with a lesbian couple and 2 flamboyantly gay brothers (one of whom wanted really badly to paint my toenails because my toes are apparently "absolutely adorable"). And see? That's what I mean when I say "get me the fuck outta Briarwood". Go McNab Park, go.

(oh yah, in other news, my car won't start for the 2nd day in a row, and now my battery is dead from trying, and someone knocked down my fence in the backyard. Boo to both.)